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4.28.2012

Eroded Esophagitis.

Another Grey's Anatomy moment brought to you by my eroded esophagitis.



Last Saturday, that's right A WEEK AGO. Woke up with what seemed to be the worst heartburn a body could muster. It was about 3 a.m. - naturally, I downed about half a bottle of Pepto Bismol... which I'd never tried before.. that stuff doesn't taste too good. Though it does taste better than drinking straight vinegar or a spoonful of mustard! After being awake for 2 hours in the middle of the night... due to "heartburn" you try just about everything the internet will throw at ya. I figured it would be gone once I woke up a few hours later. WRONG.

Let's just say eating food feels something along the lines of C.C. Sabathia chucking a baseball directly at your chest. Every time I swallow, I can feel the food go down my throat & as soon as it hits the spot... I know it. Because the pepto & home remedies did absolutely NOTHING I took a trip to the pharmacy. That stupid lady could hardly speak english & her only suggestion was Tums. I WAS POPP'N TUMS LIKE THEY WERE POPCORN! I threw some Peanut M&M's in the mix, because I mean, if it's going to hurt to eat, might as well be eating tastey things.


This is where Mr. Web M.D. came in. At first it told me I was having a heart attack... 48 hours worth of heartburn like symptoms? Heart attack. Well because I'm not a 50 year old man, I new better than to assume I was having a heart attack. After a few hours of online research I had self diagnosed myself with Eroded Esophagitis. Bahahah it sounds SO CRAZY, I love saying it. Say it out loud, do it! Eroded Esophagitis. Saturday night I had taken some antibiotics right before bed... without a sufficient amount of water (the prescribed FULL glass). That little pill sat in my esophagus, dissolving, letting the acid just eat at my poor body. I knew what it was, so the plan was to just wait it out. The internet gave me all the things I should watch for.. if I saw any of these, It was most likely getting infected... possible hole in the esophagus.. meaning I WOULD BE A DEAD PERSON. Luckily, other than the crazy throbbing in my ears, none of the additional symptoms arose, though it was getting much much more painful to swallow anything... water, food, M&M's, you name it, it was killing me.

Oh no, did not get better, worse! Took a trip to the ENT doc yesterday. His first words? "Hi Chelsie! We're going to stick a camera down your nose & look at your throat! IT'S SO COOL!" my response? "Nice to meet you doc, NOTHING ABOUT THAT SENTENCE SOUNDS COOL TO ME." Needless to say, the camera went down my nose. He checked it all out, informed me that I had correctly diagnosed myself & that it would probably be a good idea to change any planned career path & become an ENT Doctor. I think he was a little freaked out about how much I knew about what I had... a few hours on the internet will do that to ya! His further instructions? "Use this overly nasty mouthwash twice daily & take these awesome pills. Also, refrain from a number of things, including dairy products like cheese & ice cream." in reply... "I am going to be candid with you. The only reason I'm leaving for Europe on Tuesday is so that I can eat two months worth of CHEESE and GELATO for every meal. ARE YOU SURE ABOUT WHAT YOU JUST SAID!?" He then lowered his voice & said "If I were you... I'd probably eat anything I wanted in Italy."

And so! It has been decided... although it will take "a few weeks" for me to be able to swallow anything without tearing up... I'm going to Italy. My motto for the trip will now be, THE FOOD IS SO GOOD IT HURTS!


bring it on Europe, bring it onnnnnn.

P.S. I secretly think this is just God's way of making sure I don't get too fat while I'm over there. I've been mal-nourished for a week now... that's already starting to balance out the amount of food I'll be consuming come next week!

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