I can't stop thinking about last winter.
& how much I truly miss it.

I miss rolling out of bed at six am, only to throw on a wet suit. Coming out to my dew covered car & setting my iPod to Coldplay's new single "Christmas Lights", on constant repeat. I was trying to make it feel like Christmas, as much as possible. Cranking up the heat, driving down the 55 to the New Port Pier, an adventure each morning as I scouted for the closest parking spot. I would congratulate myself for being only a block away most mornings. Because I would arrive early, I usually had a few minutes to throw back my seat & take a quick nap. My alarm would wake me ten minutes later, it was important to stay on Laird's good side. My surfing professor, over sixty years old, PHD in Physical Education from Princeton University. Professional SuperBowl Referee & more or less supervised the Orange Coast College Surfing "Class". One of the most interesting people I have ever met. Pulled off that American Flag speedo with unexplainable class. Most of the time I would only surf for about an hour of the two hour allotted time. Joined the druggies on the beach, slackening between palm trees. Though occasionally, especially when the dolphins were out, I'd be out there longer, making my dolphin calls, keeping my fellow classmates alert & semi-entertained. Yes, I received college credit for this.

I miss my daily peanut butter & jelly sandwich on homemade bread at the institute building every morning. Getting out of American Studies early enough to take a nap in the quad underneath the palm trees, calling my cousin & mother for the sheer purpose of creating jealousy for my 90ยบ November.

I miss meeting the Hartley's for the first time & falling in love with their family the moment I walked through that door. The instant warmth & welcoming their home alone brought. The feeling that I got when it finally felt like Christmas due to Linda's decorations consuming all surfaces.

I miss thanking God every night for the best friend he handed me on a shining platter. Knowing that he was aware of exactly what I needed & had the perfect solution. She sharing my enthusiasm for everything Disney, supporting my "Disney classics only" movie streak, accompanying me to the magic land multiple times a week, even when all I wanted to do was run around the park for an hour or two taking photographs & soaking in the reality that was my life. Encouraging my crazy side by putting the top down the night of December 1st, blasting music I hated & grew to love.

I miss the excitement I felt waking up the day after class got out, going to Walmart, loading up my car with kettle chips, pretzel M&M's & Swedish fish. Calling my grandparents every hour to console their worries of my lonesome 11 hour drive. Listening to nothing but Christmas songs that reminded me of my childhood & reminiscing on how I got where I was & how it came so fast. Coming home to my family & friends, though knowing I would soon return to the warmth, snow was a novelty.

Overall, I miss the feeling of last winter. The perfect winter. Something I had never experienced until then. I'm beside myself that I am returning to the same winter I've known for the past nineteen years of my life & how much I have continually loathed it. Winter 2010, I would like you to return & for 2011 to stay far far away.

1 comment:

Deb said...

wow..That was an excellent entry. If I was a crier - well I would be crying buckets right now. You get it. You do know why I left. There is so much out see, to do, to meet. The undertow is too strong to fight against. love to you, bob